Just Deserts

August 14, 2013

I walked to the gym to find that one of my perpetrators got into a car accident as a result of an act of poetic justice. These perpetrators are a group of four Puerto Ricans; and not the good kind either (if there is such a thing). They are extremely shady looking. Other than being creepy looking Puerto Ricans, I could also tell that they are part of the "Hidden Evil" from the car that they drove. It was colored in regular blue---one of the colors in which they have me sensitized. The perpetrators usually speed by me while making sharp turns. These particular ones made too sharp of a turn when they ran over a road marker, getting it caught between the tire, axis, and frame. This caused their tire to pop off its axis. They had to stop their car in the middle of the highway. A driver behind them stepped out of her car to ask if they were okay. A woman in their group responded with an attitude. I watched the scenes for a few seconds then proceeded toward the Golden Triangle Shopping Center for the gym. I rejoiced in my oppressors' misfortune thinking to myself that it serves them right. My feet immediately started to itch along the top. The itch progressed to a burning sensation great enough to feel like they were pouring hot liquid all over. My feet burned like an American flag around angry Muslims. I still remained perseverant, determined to arrive at the gym. It  started to occur that I should stop by Marshalls to purchase coconut oil as a way to treat the burn. I have heard that coconut oil is good for the skin, so I figured it may come in handy for treating burns. I also had to buy a belt seeing that the athletic shorts I had in my backpack were too large to fit me. I had originally planned to use an old belt that I currently own, but forgot to take it with me. I continued to walk while feeling frantic at wondering if the assault against me was chemical or biological rather than the usual electromagnetic. My feet continued to drive me crazy as I searched through the store for a belt. I found two with eighty-six dollar price tags at first, then realized this was only the original price. I saw below them, sales price tags for twenty-six dollars. I still wanted something cheaper. I looked lower in the shelf to find a belt having only a sales price of fifteen dollars. I decided to get that belt instead. The next thing to get was coconut oil. I went to the gourmet food and cooking section to find just one practically jump right at me. It was a brand of organic coconut oil that had a price of five dollars and ninety-nine cents, the lowest I've seen organic oil get. I immediately took that brand and went to the register. I waited patiently, but irritatingly for my turn to check out my items. It was frustrating to stand in anticipation of being the next customer as my feet burn in the manner of, what I presumed as, sulfuric acid. The cashier and the current customer did make some conversation, which intensified my irritation. The conversation did fortunately not last a very lengthy amount of time. I was somewhat relieved to hear a recording calling out, "Register Number Four is now available." I advanced toward the counter as any customer and presented my items. The cashier seemed to only notice the belt at first as I could tell from the fact that she only scanned this item. She noticed my coconut oil a few minutes later. "Coconut oil, what's that for?" She asked. I was unsure of how to answer at first and felt quite irritated by the question. I was in too much of a hurry at getting to the gym's locker room to nurse my burns. I became able to produce an answer. I told her it was for cooking. She told me it was the first time she'd seen something like that. I paid for my items and left. I headed across the parking lot, moving toward the gym. I checked in at the front desk upon arrival and rushed toward the locker room entrance. I removed my shoes and socks upon entering to find my feet changed to a bright red color. I placed my items inside of an empty locker, removed my clothing, and headed to the shower, so I can wash my feet in case of biological or chemical poisoning. I finished washing my feet only to find them still itching, burning, and red. I returned to my locker to retrieve the coconut oil. I rubbed the substance all over my feet to find the symptoms still occurring. I went to retrieve some paper towels for wiping away the oil upon realization that this remedy did not work. I sat on the bench wondering how I could  stop the irritation when another remedy occurred. This remedy was to rub all over the top of my feet, some body wash I had with me. This body wash was laced with sea salt. I suspected that the symptoms might be caused by the perps using electromagnetic fields to stimulate moisture production, so I figured sea salt can absorb some of the moisture. My feet started to cool, but could still feel some degree of the itching. I put my socks over them and started changing into my exercise clothes. I put my shoes on afterward and headed to the gym. My symptoms reduced overtime, becoming non-existent as I exercised.