Beating Myself Up (with Others Helping)

I was getting ready to leave Lancaster and head for Providence, Rhode Island for a meeting that Freedom from Covert Harassment and Surveillance (FCHS) was sponsoring. Something went wrong however. I originally was not sure whether I would attend the meeting in Providence, but decided on Wednesday (3/14/2012) that I would attend. I gave the moderator a call and told him that I want to attend the meeting. He mentioned in a conference call on TalkShoe that there were Targeted Individuals (TI) carpooling to the meeting and he would contact some of them if there are any TIs who cannot get there. There was a voicemail recording when I tried to call. I left a message asking about carpooling. I later called Amtrak's automated service to check the cost of boarding a train to Providence. It would cost a total of two-hundred four to three-hundred dollars for a round trip. I decided not to take the train and waited for the moderator to call me back.

Thursday, March 15, 2012

I had not heard from the moderator, so I decided to call him again during my fifteen minute break at work. I still received a voicemail recording and left him another message. I made another attempt later during my half-hour break and still received a voicemail recording. I hung-up the phone instead of leaving a message that time. He called me back five minutes later and told me that he would call somebody and have him call me for arrangements. I received some intimidation at work after returning from break. After getting home from enduring the intimidation, I left my apartment to get a few things at CVS Pharmacy. I returned from the pharmacy later and passed a male child of approximately nine. He was with his family while sitting on a porch. He stared at me and I stared at him momentarily. He then yelled, "it's the meeting-guy" and looked over at his mother.

Friday, March 16, 2012

I did not hear from the contact and suspected that the perps were blocking my calls. I called the moderator back to ask if the man mentioned that he had trouble getting hold of me. He told me that there was never any mention of that. I told him I never heard from that guy and he asked me if I checked out Amtrak. I answered that it turned out to be too expensive. He suggested that I take a train to Philadelphia then a bus service called, "Mega-Bus" to Providence. He would later arrange for a ride back to Lancaster when the meeting is over. He told me that the fare for Mega-Bus mostly costs fifteen dollars. I tried calling this company to find out for sure about the fare. One customer service representative told me that they don't go to Providence, but I later called back to hear a different person tell me that they do go to Providence, but through a connection to New York. She also told me that the trip from Philadelphia to New York would range from seventeen to twenty-one dollars while the trip from New York to Providence would range from sixteen to one-twenty-nine dollars. I found the Providence trip too pricy. I was stomped on making a decision. I should have asked about the fare for specific times, but instead said "thank you" to her and disconnected the call. I was planning to leave my apartment to do some shopping at Wal-Mart and take my laptop to a Wi-Fi hotspot to use Mega-Bus' website to look up fares if I have enough time. I was feeling tired however and decided to lay down first. I figured the perps would use electronic weapons to force me to sleep---this technology had been possible since the 1930s as defined in Pages 31 & 32 of an e-book on organized stalking written by Eleanor White. I tried putting my head against the wall as I lay in bed to stay awake. That failed when I heard voices beaming into my head and immediately lost consciousness.

I awoken three hours later filled with anger. I decided to go out for a walk to remedy this tension. I originally planned  to continue with my plans to shop at Wal-Mart to do some shopping, but decided to put that off for the time being. I continued walking through whatever route came to mind. I was met with cars accelerating past me and blowing their horns. After I had finished my recreational walking, I decided to head to Giant and use their Wi-Fi at their marketplace cafe. I witnessed two police cars hiding in a parking lot and watching me while on my way over there. I went into the website of Amtrak to look up more options for fares. It was still too expensive so I decided to look into the Mega-Bus option. I had trouble figuring out what trips to take until I decided to take the 12:00 PM trip from Philadelphia to New York, then the 2:00 PM trip from New York to Rhode Island. I later realized that I erred in making that reservation. The information stated that the trip to New York would last from 12:00-2:00 PM. The Providence bus leaves New York at 2:00 PM. The thought didn't occur to me earlier that the Providence bus would leave at the same time that the New York bus arrives. I called Mega-Bus to cancel or change the reservation. Their customer service department was closed and the recording stated that it would open at 6:00 AM. I went home and went to bed. I received a call from the moderator. He told me he wanted to check-in with me. He also stated that I should by all means attend the meeting. He also told me about what they'll be discussing. I was excited while listening. When the conversation ended, I tried to go to sleep. I was disrupted with electronic harassment consisting of my foot burning and some rounds of Voice-to-Skull (V2K). I meditated in order to fight it and was successful.

Saturday, March 17, 2012

I awoken at approximately 3:30 AM. I was still exhausted, so I stayed in bed for further rest. I got out of bed at 5:00 AM and showered. I then ate breakfast while waiting until 6:00 AM to cancel my reservations. I tried to call at six, but a different recording stated that they open at 7:30 AM. I at first thought about taking the early train and just wait until 12:00 when I arrive at Philadelphia, but decided to wait until 7:30 AM to cancel or change the reservation. They told me there has to be twenty-four hours notice before I can cancel. As for changing, they told me I would have to show up in person. I walked to the train station and went to one of the electronic kiosks to purchase a ticket. The early train would leave at 7:55 AM. It was currently 7:53 AM and I figured that train might have already left because of their clock being different from mine. I stood there staring at the kiosk, wondering what to do. The screen automatically canceled because of my staying idle. I sat on the bench wondering if I should take the later train, which was at around 8:55 AM. I later figured that there might not be earlier seats available when I go to Mega-Bus to change my reservation. I also figured I would have to take the 12:00 PM and miss the Providence bus, resulting in having to take the later one. The overall results would be that the trip will last so long that the meeting will come close to over by the time I arrive. I decided to call the moderator and cancel. Two perps watched as I left the train station and one of them laughed.

I started walking home feeling upset with myself. I thought about the perp laughing at me and decided to go back and take an even later train. I arrived at the train station and still thought that it might not work. I sat on an outdoor bench wondering if I should still try to depart to Philadelphia and do something else. I felt that I just had to leave the shithole known as Lancaster, but at the same time felt stomped on what to do in Philadelphia. A stranger asked me if I know if the bus is still leaving. I answered that I didn't know. I was hoping he wouldn't try to make conversation with me because I was not in the mood to talk. I felt that I would explode if he did. I was relieved to find that he did not try to make conversation with me. I decided again to walk back home. I arrived feeling tired, depressed, and disappointed. I came close to tears, but suppressed it because I knew I was being watched IN MY OWN HOME. I tried to sleep only to get disrupted with constant V2K. I lied on the bed for several hours to no avail. I arose from bed and decided to examine some material I had for improvised shielding. I then headed out to purchase additional material for the improvisation.

I was on my way to an arts and crafts store---it is either called Michael's or AC Moore. I cannot remember for certain---when I received bombardment of roadside harassment. Most of the motorists gave me dirty looks while one guy with a green shirt in the front passenger seat cracked his knuckles at me in a manner to suggest that he would beat me to a bloody pulp. The next motorist was a piece of Puerto Rican garbage-bag that I knew from work. He gave me angry looks with sweat trickling down his skin. I gave him a similar look and he yelled, "Cabron (Spanish for asshole)!" A grey haired White-Bred in his early fifties decided to give me angry looks as well and I flipped him my middle finger. He looked even more angry and he moved forward to suggest that he would get out of the car and confront me. Apparently, he thought I was stupid enough to believe he could get of the car while it's still moving.

I entered the store when I arrived and found myself immediately confronted by perps. First, there was a female employee---who looked slightly chubby---whom stopped me asked if I needed help finding anything. I told her I need pouches. She then told me about the different pouches they had. She then proceeded to ask me some intrusive questions such as my purpose for using the pouches. I didn't feel comfortable telling her it was for shielding from electronic harassment, so I instead told her it was to store items. She asked me about the items I'm storing. I told her it was collectable coins. She continued following me around with a basket while pretending to browse items. She clearly wanted me to know she was watching me because only an idiot would believe that a store employee on duty would shop for items. I then saw the store employee huddle with a group of American Stasis on what to do about my shopping at her store and minding my own business. One of these Stasis was some woman that I see walking through Downtown streets regularly. A minute later, I continued to browse with the feeling that I'm being watched. I looked over my shoulder and saw the same employee staring at me in anger while on the phone. I felt the urge to raise awareness of the problem to the store employee, but could not bring myself to do it. There were however, other perps passing me. I spoke some words to them in a moderately loud voice as they passed. These words were "you're being lied to." Feeling that my voice wasn't loud enough, I silently told myself I had to talk a little louder (without yelling). I now realize that I was appealing to the liars. The store clerk was the one being told the lies. I then heard the clerk say on the intercom, "We need a security watch in Aisles One, Two, Seven, and Nine." I continued browsing for the right pouches when I decided to make the pouches myself. I picked-out some fabric and took it the register to find myself last in line. The employee told me to have a nice day as she walked past me. A family of perps immediately appeared behind me---I get this a lot when I'm in stores. I now suspect that the employee's "friendly goodbye" was a signal for these perps to appear behind me. Another cashier appeared at an unlit counter and said she can take the next two people in line. I moved to the counter while the perps behind me didn't. They left the store instead.